Venturing out &venturing in..

"I finally built my website, Mom," I gleamed, relieved to be making strides towards a goal that I had scribbled on far too many to-do lists.

"Oh yeah?" Her ears perked up. "Tell me more."

"I realized, I've been approaching this the wrong way. I've been feeling anxious, rushing through the steps... as if I'm failing to fulfill expectations, when the only person placing expectations on me is myself," I admitted, clarity crystallizing more with each word released from my mind. "I need to be patient with myself--cherish where I'm at right now."

I paused and inhaled, the corners of my lips breaking into a smile on the exhale. 

"I'm on the brink of stepping into my the fruition of my dreams. What, one year ago, seemed like a life existing only on my phone screen. I've saved the money, and I found my van! I don't even have to convert it, the hardest part is already done. It's ready to go with a bed, stove, fridge, and even sink. Only 77,000 miles! It's one of the only vans like it floating around. Rare, and one of a kind, little emblems that say 'LOVE' plastered all over it, from it's original owner, 'Bob Love.' How cosmic that it made it's way to San Francisco, to the hands of a friend-of-a-friend, who's ready to move into a home on cement, just as I'm ready to move into one on wheels...."

She nodded lovingly, giving me all the support a mother can muster when her daughter's just decided to drop out of college in her final year and live in a van. She cringed to let me go, I was supposed to be the first one in our family--extended family included--to get a college degree.

But I had always been one to break the mold. I had never anticipated to go this route, either, but I was following my heart.......... (and, still breaking the mold, I beg--I am the first in the family to move out of Lake County, Indiana.) 

"Now all I have to do is be patient," I continued, "while he finds his new city car. I have to relish this time to prepare for the journey ahead--to set up the framework to tell my story. I'm going to inspire others to go off the beaten path--to venture out, and venture in."

Violet Starkey

Santa Cruz, California